Evan vs the Crazy Korean Woman

Tokyo Gore Police Trailer 2

I had a great day the other day. Out with my friend Heesoo, we took in a movie, had some lunch, then she helped me pick up a new phone.

Walking back to the bus alone from the cellphone shop, $800 phone in hand, some crazy Korean woman jumped out at me to scare me, grabbing my shoulders and yelling at me!

I looked at her carefully wondering who the hell she was and if I knew her from some point in my past. I couldn’t place her, it was just some random woman in her late twenties with sores on her face.

Then in the middle of the crowd she started yelling repeatedly, “Why shave head? Why shave head? You need to go to medical center!” When I went to step around her, she started blocking my way and wouldn’t let me pass, she just kept yelling at me! I had a sinking feeling so shoved my hand in my pocket to protect my wallet then glanced behind me looking for some sign that she was with a group if guys who were about to rob me, but I couldn’t see anyone.

People around me were looking in disbelief but also (in true Korean form) pretending not to notice. I pointed away from myself, motioning for her to get the hell away from me, but she wouldn’t budge. She began blocking my way again, this time with arms outstretched. After trying to step around her 4 or 5 times I finally swung my arm out and straight armed her, throwing her to the side, but but she stepped behind me and slapped my ass!

In this kind if situation I’m not above kicking some crazy chick to the curb (who knows what she was planning to do, our have done, to me) but something about the racist Korean justice system told me that if I did that I would be visiting Canada sooner rather than later and maybe in handcuffs.

In the next moment she was in front of me again and blocking my way so I got right up close to her face, leaned in, and with the face of death that I have perfected for my kids said slowly and viciously, “FUCK OFF.” I’m not sure if it was the look like she would end up in the bottom of some dumpster if she didn’t step back or my words that hinted that I didn’t find her playfully quaint, but she reluctantly stepped aside to let me pass.

She kept yelling at me while I made sure to put as much distance between me and her as possible. All in all a completely unsettling experience and one for the blog.

Leave a Reply